Dunia ini penuh dengan pengecut,
Mereka menginginkanmu menjadi
seperti mereka,
Menjadi menyedihkan, rendah hati, dan sopan
Ludahi wajah mereka,
Beraki mulut mereka,
Dunia yang dilanggar
Kutu-kutu kehidupan.
I can feel that I'm that I'm starting to loose my faith.
And I'm so caught in it.God is paying me His debts.
~
There used to be time where you can just hanging out with your friends and does'nt have to give a fuck about what's gonna happen to you. You're life is fucking perfect - You have your best friends , You're a brilliant student , You have the best job in the whole wide world , Money and Parent who loves you for who you are. All of a sudden, It's just gone. You got no one - nobody. The moment you realize it , It's just too late.
~
I keep having this dream - My life is tumbling down for the past 3 years of my life. It's this shit that keep giving me nightmares. And It's finally happen.
You can't sleep at night.
It's Karma ,
turning you're life upside down
and
bite you the fuck out.
Yeah...
It's my life...
But all in words I guess...
[Eminem]
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'em
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?
What happens when you become the main source of a pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing this song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around on that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...
[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...
[Eminem]
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These fuckin' walls must be talking, cause man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's to-night
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...
[Chorus]
[Eminem]
Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin"
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are gone"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go up there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "Die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was
supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..
Whether this is love or just a big time wasted approach towards a relationship or just a bomb waiting to go on and all of a sudden it ends without me even know it. Seriously, I don't know how to react and I don't even know how to respond. And yes, I'm in love with him.
~
(gambor baru matured)
I have to admit that I always feel intimidatedby him in every way. He's smart, easy-going and sweetin my eyes. His sense of humor, intelligenceand sensitivityoften makes me feelso happy. Talking to him the second time is a big turn on in my life.I feel calm, happy and no doubt that love is in the air! ( I'm not kidding, this is genuinely beyond my expectation when it comes to stranger ) I know, he's a stranger
and I have no reason to feel so. But this is different, I kept thinking about him and yes, most of the time. He's cute and adorable. You can call me crazy this time which I rarely be.
~
He's soooo cute! ( aku mmg surrender bila tgk gambaq ni, dia sgt cute!)
And, I don't even know why I post his picture. But one thing I do know, I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM!!! This so bad, because of the fact that I don't have that fucking courage to tell him what I feel. Part of me - I love him. And the other part, which is my biggest problem is the fact that he's so intimidating. Intimidating in terms of intelligence and age. Yup! Age does matters. Why? Because of the fact that age difference differentiates us in terms of our way of thinking and what we want in our life. Older guy tend to have the needs to get married which I wanted it too.But, I just feel that marriage is definitely far beyond from what I want for the time being. But yes, I wanted it someday.
~
( aku suka yg bulu2 kat muka! Ahak! )
For me, He's different. He got he's own way of presenting himself to the world.It takes great courage to be who you wanted to be and not give a damn about what others think of you, which I can't even do it because I do care about what others think of me (and yet he can!) He gave me sleepless night every time I look at his picture.
~
The song that he posted on he's wall.It's he's way of telling me that he's falling in love with me! Huhu! It's because of this song that gave me sleepless night.
~
I will never find another luva sweeta than you,
Sweeta than you
And I will never find anutha luva more precious than you
More precious than you
Girl you are
Close to me you're like my mother
Close to me you're like my father
Close to me you're like my sister
Close to me you're like my brutha
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing
And all my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
I said you're all that I'm thinkin' of.....baby
Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger
You're all I'm thinkin' of, I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug
I really love you
And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me
You're all that I ever known
When you smile, on my face, all I see is a glow
You turned my life around
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known
When you smile on your face all I see is a glow
You picked me up when I was down
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes I pray that you do love me too
All my life
I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
~
( bila hati dah suka - aku suka gaya beliau! )
My biggest problem is - Of course I'm such a coward to tell him that I feel the same way as he does. He's just too intimidating and sweet. And I'm just a wasted, country kid full of weird imagination about being a Vampire.
~
The song that I posted in my wall - My way of telling him " Dear stranger, I'm talking to you and YES I feel the same way " .Why this song? Because of this
(sama kan??? Ahak! Bob Marley = Mesin Cetak! Hensemmmmm! )
Still, I'm too chicken-shit to talk to him directly that I feel the same way - I L o v e U T o o . May God give me the courage to speak to him. I hope that this is the beginning of my love life and I hope to God that he's the one.
~
~ I'M IN LOVE ~
You'll never know how much I really love you.
You'll never know how much I really care.
Listen,
Do you want to know a secret?,
Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh.
Closer,
Let me whisper in your ear,
Say the words you long to hear,
I'm in love with you.
Listen,
Do you want to know a secret?,
Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh.
Closer,
Let me whisper in your ear,
Say the words you long to hear,
I'm in love with you.
I've known the secret for a week or two,
Nobody knows, just we two.
Listen,
Do you want to know a secret?,
Do you promise not to tell?, whoa oh, oh.
Closer,
Let me whisper in your ear,
Say the words you long to hear,
I'm in love with you.
He is the curator and custodian of the Merrylin Cryptid collection. The study and documentation of the evolution and biology of unclassified species and research pertaining to prehistoric human and non human civilization.
His Book
~ Many Dead Things - The Specimen Of Lord Merrylin ~
He had released a book, detailing the collection up until 2009, but much more is yet to uncovered. Documenting and analyzing the collection takes a great deal of time and money.
The Collection
~
~ The Lycanthropy (werewolf) research of Edward Harrell ~
ALLAH, THE ALMIGHTY GOD. For all this while I have been searching for nothing more than your blessings and attention.
O God, Please don't ever abandoned me.
Please guide me!
Grant me Your love!
amin ~
~ My Prayers Forever Accompanying You ~
Once again, I send you a letter with the hope that it finds you well. In all honesty, whenever you were gone, the emptiness in my heart becomesunbearable and i wish i could do this in person while holding you in my arms.
I think of you everyday------I have lived for a long time dependent upon no one and committed to no one except myself, I consider the world is mine for the taking and truly i believed i was living life to the fullest. Then you come into the picture,and all of a sudden I realize that i was fooling myself.
My,
I am an incomplete woman in need of wholeness. I find that my life is not all that i thought it was. It's terribly lacking in many things, the foremost being love. Now, through some great fortune,I have found that loveand a long with it the one person who can make my life truly complete.
YOU are that person,and i have somehow fallen hopelessly and undeniably in love with YOU. To be honest, I never thought i would ever utter those words, but now, they come fourth effortlessly and withgreat sincerity.
I'll be forever grateful to YOU for showing me just how shallow my heart was.
I will remain totally yours in thought, heart and soul .
Elizabeth Bathory is born into one of the oldest and wealthiest families in Transylvania. Her family had many powerful relatives -- a cardinal, princes, and a cousin who was prime minister of Hungary are among these relatives. The most famous relative was Istvan Bathory (1533-86). Istvan was prince of Transylvania and king of poland from 1575-86. It has been said that At around the age of 4 or 5, Elizabeth had violent seizures. These may have been caused by epilepsy or another neurological disorder and may have something to do with her "psychotic" behavior later in life.
~ Bathory & Nadasdy crest ~
1575: Age 15, Elizabeth married Count Ferenc Nadasdy . The Count was 26 years of age. The count took Elizabeth's surname so that she could keep her name. In Slovak this Castle is named Cachtice. The count spent a great deal of time away from home fighting in wars and for this he was nicknamed "The Black Hero of Hungary". While her husband was away Elizabeth's manservant Thorko introduced her to the occult. For a brief time Elizabeth eloped with a "dark stranger". Upon her return to Castle Cachtice the count did forgive her for her leaving. Back at the castle, Elizabeth couldn't tolerate her domineering mother-in-law. With the help of her old nurse Ilona Joo, she began to torture the servant girls. Her other accomplices included the major-domo János Ujvary , Thorko, a forest witch named Darvula and a witch Dorottya Szentes. The first ten years of their marriage, Elizabeth bore no children because she and Ferenc shared so little time together as he pursued his "career."
1600: At age 51, Count Ferenc died in battle and thus began Elizabeth's period of atrocities. First, she sent her hated mother-in-law away from the Castle. By this time it is thought that she had dabbled into some forms of sorcery, attending rituals that included the sacrificing of horses and other animals. Elizabeth, now 40 years old, grew increasingly vain and she feared the thought of aging as she may lose her beauty. One day a servant girl accidentially pulled her hair while combing it. Elizabeth slapped the girl's hand so hard she drew blood. The girls blood fell into ELizabeth's hand and she immediately thought that her skin took on the freshness of her young maid. She believed that she had found the secret of eternal youth. Elizabeth had her major-domo and Thorko strip the maid and then cut her and drain her blood into a huge vat. Elizabeth bathed in it to beautify her entire body.
1600 - 1610: Elizabeth's henchmen continued to provided Elizabeth with new girls for the blood-draining ritual and her blood baths. Elizabeth went out of her way to see to it that the dead girls were given proper Christian burials by the local Protestant pastor, at least initially. As the body count rose, the pastor refused to perform his duties in this respect, because there were too many girls coming to him from Elizabeth who had died of "unknown and mysterious causes." She then threatened him in order to keep him from spreading the news of her "hobby" and continued to have the bodies buried secretly. Near the end, many bodies were disposed of in haphazard and dangerously conspicuous locations (like nearby fields, wheat silos, the stream running behind the castle, the kitchen vegetable garden, etc.). But one of her intended victims escaped and told the authorities about what was happening at Castle Cachtice. King of Hungary ordered Elizabeth's own cousin, Count György Thurzo, governor of the province to raid the castle. On December 30, 1610 they raided the castle and they were horrified by the terrible sights. One dead girl in the main room, drained of blood and another alive whose body had been pierced with holes. In the dungeon they discovered several living girls, some of whose bodies had been pierced several times. Below the castle, they exhumed the bodies of some 50 girls.
1611: A trial was held at Bitcse. Elizabeth, who refused to plead either guilty or innocent, and never appeared in the trial.. At this trial Johannes Ujvary, major-domo, testified that about 37 unmarried girls has been killed, six of whom he had personally recruited to work at the castle. The trial revealed that most of the girls were tortured for weeks or even months. They were cut with scissors, pricked with pins, even prodded with burning irons onto short spikes in a cage hung from the ceiling to provide Bathory with a "blood shower". Sometimes the two witches tortured these girls, or the Countess did it herself. Elizabeth's old nurse testified that about 40 girls had been tortured and killed. In fact, Elizabeth killed 612 women -- and in her diary, she documented their deaths. A complete transcript of the trial was made at the time and it survices today in Hungary. Of the people involved in these killings, all but Countess Bathory and the two witches were beheaded and cremated. Due to her nobility, Elizabeth was not allowed by law to be executed. The tow accomplices had their fingers torn out and were burned alive. The court never convicted Countess Elizabeth of any crime, however she was put under house arrest. She was sentenced to life imprisonment in her torture chamber and stonemasons were brought to wall up the windows and doors of the with the Countess inside. They left a small hole through which food could be passed. King Mátyás II demanded the death penalty for Elizabeth but because of her cousin, the prime minister, he agreed to an indefinitely delayed sentence, which really meant solitary confinement for life.
~ An album from The Cradle of Filth : Cruelty and The Beast ~
1614: On July 31 Elizabeth (age 54) dictated her last will and testament to two cathedral priests from the Esztergom bishopric. She wished that what remained of her family holdings be divided up equally among her children, her son Paul and his descendants were the basic inheritors though. Late in August of the year 1614 one of the countess's jailers wanted to get a good look at her, since she was still reputedly one of the most beautiful women in Hungary. Peeking through the small aperture in her walled-up cell, he saw her lying face down on the floor. Countess Elizabeth Bathory was dead. Her body was intended to be buried in the church in the town of Cachtice, but the grumbling of local inhabitants found abhorrent the idea of having the "infamous Lady" placed in their town, on hallowed ground no less! Considering this, and the fact that she was "one of the last of the descendants of the Ecsed line of the Bathory family", her body was placed to the northeastern Hungarian town of Ecsed, the original Bathory family seat.
